


you have no idea

by heereandqueere



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz, Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz (Two River Cast) RPF, Be More Chill - Ned Vizinni
Genre: Boyf, Boyfriends, F/M, Fluff, Gay, Kissing, M/M, Virginity, bmc, riends, two awkward twinks with no background in sex ed sure do try
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-29
Updated: 2018-06-29
Packaged: 2019-05-30 04:23:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,923
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15088919
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/heereandqueere/pseuds/heereandqueere
Summary: Michael Mell has been fighting for his best friend’s affections for the best decade, but just as he had begun to accept the way things were, his best friend texts him in the middle of the night.





	you have no idea

Michael glanced at his black alarm clock, which sat on a nightstand right beside his bed. Its fluorescent red numbers told him that it was too late to be up thinking about how he was totally, undeniably, completely in love with his best friend. 

Who was dating a girl. 

Who was a heterosexual male. 

Who had been his best friend and “nothing more” for over twelve years. 

As Michael turned these thoughts over in his head, he put quotations around “nothing more” because he knew that what he and Jeremy had was definitely more than a best friend thing. What they had going wasn’t something that normal friends did. It was almost like they were painfully teetering the fence of boyfriends and best friends, and though Jeremy sat on that fence comfortably, Michael felt the fence’s posts digging into his ass literally all of the time. 

He took that metaphor a bit too far.

Michael angrily rolled over, wrapping his pillow around his head in an attempt to drown out his thoughts. _Jeremy has a girlfriend_ , Michael kept thinking, shaking his head vigorously. Sure, they had only been dating for a few weeks, but Jeremy had been infatuated with Christine since seventh grade, and Michael seriously doubted that admitting his crush on Jeremy would suddenly change that. 

Irritated and a little hungry, Michael rolled back over and searched for his phone. Upon finding it, he brought the screen close to his face so that he could actually read it. 

**player2: binch r u awake??**

Michael felt his heart jump a bit as he read Jeremy’s text. He shouldn’t have been surprised, since it was only eleven at night and Jeremy’s bed time was usually around one. 

**player1: yea, why**

He sent the message and shook his head at their usernames. Player One and Player Two? So childish, so obviously hinting at Michael’s love for his best friend. 

Best friend. Best friend. Best friend. 

**player2: cool cool, wanna come over? I’m seriously so bored I wanna die**

**player2: lmao also christine literally just broke up w me over the phone like cool yknow idc**

Michael sat up so quickly he could’ve sworn he could’ve broken mach one if it was physically possible. 

How was this possible though? Jeremy just so happened to break up with his girlfriend while Michael was conveniently wishing he would? Well, that was always Michael’s train of thought, but still. Of course Michael wanted to go over now. He wanted to comfort his best friend first, but being there for Jeremy at such a vulnerable time...

**player1: shit man i’m on my way**

Michael had never dashed out the door and driven faster in his life. His mom could care less about what he did in his free time, and Michael didn’t have a curfew or anything since all he ever did outside of the house was go to school and hang out with Jeremy. 

The only thing Michael could focus on during his short drive was his racing heartbeat, which was pattering as quickly as he drove. He couldn’t believe the sheer coincidence, the utter fact that Christine had actually broken up with Jeremy. 

Over the phone.

Michael almost missed Jeremy’s house, quickly turning into the empty driveway. He had no idea where Jeremy’s dad was, but he could care less as he literally slammed the breaks and thrust his car into park, throwing his door open and flying up the patio steps. 

His keychain had a copy of Jeremy’s house key on it, which he used to quickly open the door and shut it quietly behind him. In that moment, Michael realized he should’ve probably brought some consolation snacks or something. However, it didn’t really matter at that point. 

“Jeremy?” Michael called, making his way to Jeremy’s bedroom. A stifled sniffle was his best friend’s reply. 

Michael opened the door and saw the back of Jeremy’s head. He was sitting on the floor, surrounded by tissues, facing the wall, the dim light of his laptop creating a type of silhouette around him. 

“Oh God, Jeremy, gross...” Michael commented in a trying, teasing tone, though he secretly thought that it’d be kinda hot to catch his crush masturbating in the middle of the night. 

Jeremy didn’t move, so Michael walked slowly and sat beside him. He focused on Jeremy’s distraught face, his tear stained cheeks, his rosy nose. There was no way to pretend like everything was okay, like Jeremy wasn’t just sobbing. “I’m... I’m so sorry she broke up with you,” Michael offered softly, letting his hand rest platonically on Jeremy’s thigh. 

Jeremy was shaking. 

“N-No,” he hiccuped, picking up a random tissue and wiping at his nose feverishly. “I... I broke up with her. Not today. A few days ago.” 

Michael stopped in his tracks. So many questions should’ve polluted his mind, but he was dumbfounded. He couldn’t say anything. He couldn’t move. He couldn’t even think. 

Jeremy shook his head again, wiping his eye with the palm of his hand. 

“I know. Stupid. I should’ve told you, I wanted you to come over before now. I know I’ve been a little weird the past few days, but, I dunno, it seemed right to, to, invite you over right now,” he babbled, laughing to himself. It was a quarter past eleven, which was clearly the most inconvenient time for a friend to visit. 

Michael seemed to come to his senses just then, and he definitely had a few questions that came to mind.

“Umm, well, that’s fine. I’m really glad to be here right now. I miss you. But, I guess I have to ask, why’d you break up with her? And if you didn’t break up with her right now, then why are you crying?” Michael asked quietly, his hand had still not moved from Jeremy’s leg. 

Jeremy was very aware of the contact. 

He looked up at his friend and managed to smile. “I broke up with her because I didn’t like her as much as I thought I did. We don’t have a ton in common. Like, I guess we both like acting and plays, and we’re both fucking goofy, but basing a relationship off of those two things alone isn’t very stable.

”Plus, the SQUIP kinda overexaggerated the possibility of getting laid, so that made me overanticipate a relationship with her...” 

Michael tried to follow Jeremy’s logic, his heart beating loudly in his ears. “Alright, but you’ve liked her since seventh grade. Like, you really liked her,” Michael persisted, but Jeremy shook his head again. 

“I liked the idea of her I guess. Being in a relationship with her was different than I thought it was gonna be,” Jeremy admitted, wiping at his eye again and focusing intensely on the screen.

Michael took notice of the tab Jeremy had open. 

“You didn’t tell me why you’re crying,” Michael continued, trying to read the document Jeremy had open. Luckily, Michael had a pair of glasses in his car, so when, in his rush, he had forgotten his glasses on his nightstand, he just replaced them. 

Jeremy just glanced over at Michael.

”We’ve been friends for over twelve years, Michael. Friends. Best friends. Do you ever wonder, y’know...”

Was Michael fucking dreaming? If he was, he didn’t want to wake up. 

“Are you drunk?” 

“No. I’m Jeremy,” Jeremy joked, rolling his eyes. “I’m crying because I’ve been reading and updating this document for the past, like eight years. The shit I used to write in here... The shit I _still_ write in here... So, like, here? When I was in third grade, I realized that I had a lot more girl friends than guy friends. By that, I mean acquaintances, since you’ve been my only actual friend for a long time. It’s different now, but back then...”

Michael nodded quickly, a blushing mess.

”Anyways, a lot of the guys in the class called me gay. You know, you were there.” Michael confirmed by inclining his head slightly. “Of course, you assured me it meant happy. That was an elementary school thing. I didn’t even know what being gay was until I got the nerve to ask my mom, and when she told me, I asked her if you and I were gay. I loved you, and back then, it wasn’t romantic or at least it wasn’t a sexual thing, you creep.

”My mom just laughed and played it off. I’ve had this laptop for forever, since my parents gave it to my when I was super young for some reason. It’s like having a family computer, except no one else but me uses it. I dunno, I guess my parents realized that my awkwardness in social situations could only be nourished by the likes of a computer screen? Typical parents...”

Michael interrupted Jeremy momentarily, “Jerm, not to be rude, but I know. I’ve known you forever, I know about this situation. I get that when you’re sad, you ramble, but this is a little much. You’re crying and surrounded by tissues, telling me that you have some secret gay diary, and you’re rambling about... a family but not family computer?”

Jeremy lifted his hand apologetically, but continued anyways. “I’ve been updating this document for years. Yeah, it’s like a diary. A super gay diary. Really dude, listen. ‘Today, me and Michael sat by each other on the bus as usual. But there was a new kid, and he wanted to sit with us. Since there’s only enough room for two people in each seat, I had to sit on Michael’s lap. It was really fun. I love my best friend.’

“‘At lunch, Michael let me drink from the same bottle as him. It was one of those cool, small water bottles that you empty the Kool-aid into, and he knows I LOVE Kool-aid, so he let me drink after him! Is that, like, secondhand kissing? That’s a big word, secondhand. I sure am mature.’

’”Apparently Michael smokes weed now? I thought he was still in his skater phase, but I guess he got tired of falling all the time and of me insisting that I bandage him up. Little does he know, it makes me feel like a personal nurse, so it’s cute. Yeah, I came over to play some video games and he was high off his ass. Crazy. I should ask him if I can get high with him! Who knows what would happen?’”

Jeremy continued his random scrolling and selection of diary entries, hiccuping and sniffling occasionally as he shared this emotional rollercoaster with his best friend.

Michael couldn’t even breathe. What he was understanding was that–

“You broke up with your girlfriend because you’ve been in love with me for years?” 

Jeremy flinched, silent for a few beats. 

Michael became hyper-aware of his hand, which was still resting on his friend’s thigh. He quickly moved it away, just to have Jeremy shift quickly and grab his hand.

Suddenly, Jeremy pulled Michael to face him, lifting himself up to kiss Michael. 

Too stunned to react, Michael sort of sat there awkwardly, and Jeremy began to lose what little confidence he had felt in admitting his feelings to his best friend in such a weird, on-the-spot kind of way. 

Jeremy slowly pulled away when Michael didn’t react, slightly shaking from embarrassment. 

“Agh, fuck, I know I shouldn’t have done this,” Jeremy mumbled, his face burning. He went to close the laptop, but Michael instinctively moved his hand to keep it open. Jeremy’s gaze shifted from the screen to his best friend. 

“N-No, I’m... I’m so sorry,” Michael managed to say. “You just really, uh, caught me off guard. You really have no idea how long I’ve wanted to do this Jeremy.”

Michael brought his hands up to cup Jeremy’s face, leaning down to connect his lips with his friend’s, casually noting the slightly salty taste on his best friend’s lips. 

_Best friend. Best friend. Best friend._

Jeremy moved to grab Michael’s wrists, wrapping his arms around Michael’s.

The two sat that way for a while, and Michael savored every moment of it. 

He had been dreaming about this moment ever since he started thinking about kissing people and being in relationships and falling in love with Jeremy. Though Michael had definitely imagined it playing out differently, he couldn’t be happier.

Jeremy eventually pulled away, just to close his laptop and move it out of their way. Michael began kissing him again, slowly pushing the shorter backwards onto his elbows, then onto his back. 

“God, you’re so perfect,” Michael gushed, taking a break from the awkward but much-anticipated make-out session. Jeremy took a shaky breath and snaked his arms around Michael’s neck, tangling his fingers into his hair. 

The two continued kissing, and besides the occasional bumping of teeth, it was everything they could’ve hoped for. 

Jeremy let go of Michael and pushed him back, giving himself a few seconds to gaze into Michael’s eyes. 

“Why have we waited so long to do this?” Jeremy mused,” out of breath. 

“Shut up and kiss me,” Michael basically begged, returning to Jeremy’s mouth and working at trying to be the dominant kisser. Jeremy caught on and parted his lips to accommodate Michael’s tongue.

Michael ran his tongue along Jeremy’s bottom lip, causing Jeremy to shudder and reminding him to do something with his hands. Jeremy moved his hands to rest on Michael’s hips.

This was new to both of them, since all Christine and Jeremy had ever shared was the occasional peck. Even then, it was awkward, but this just felt... right. Even if it wasn’t very coordinated. 

Michael was so turned on at this point, and it was apparent because he had a very obvious tent in his pajama pants that he hadn’t bothered to change out of. 

He suddenly became very aware of his “problem,” thankful that the room was still dark and that Jeremy’s eyes were screwed shut. However, when Jeremy moved his leg to get a “hotter” angle, he felt the bulge in Michael’s pants.

Unfortunately, it’s not like he could pretend that it wasn’t there. And he’d be lying if he said that he didn’t feel one coming on too. 

“This shouldn’t be making us hard,” he mumbled through the kissing, and Michael pulled back to snort. He knew that Jeremy knew he was hard, but he was definitely a noob at kissing. 

Imagine him trying to have sex.

”I don’t know if that’s a good idea, Jerm. I don’t wanna lose my virginity to my best friend,” Michael made up excuses, though he had been waiting so long for this exact moment. Side note, it’s not like his boner would fix itself.

Jeremy did some serious thinking in those few seconds of silence.

”Do you want to lose your virginity to your boyfriend?” 

They stayed in that position for at least a minute as Michael loomed over Jeremy. 

This was really all Michael had imagined and more. There was no way he wasn’t dreaming. 

“Pinch me,” Michael all but drooled, and Jeremy made a face. “If you’re into that...” He pinched his best friend’s arm, and Michael definitely felt it.

What was happening? 

“God, are you asking me out Heere? That’s kinda gay,” Michael commented, exasperated. This was just too good to be true.

Jeremy scoffed, starting to wonder if he had taken it too far. “Sorry, I don’t wanna move fast, but–“ 

Michael leaned back down to plant a sloppy kiss on Jeremy’s forehead. “I’d love to lose my virginity to my boyfriend. This all just seems a little unrealistic. Like I’m dreaming.” Jeremy smiled, and Michael could see it through the dark. 

“God, you’re cuter when you’re not talking,” Jeremy teased, to which Michael scowled. “You won’t be saying that when we’re fucking and me talking is what pushes you over the edge.” 

“Is that a school shooter joke?”

”Where’s the lube? And condoms? Is that how this works? I haven’t taken sex ed.”

Jeremy almost peed himself laughing, realizing how fucking awkward they were. He pushed Michael off of him and rolled over, grunting as he stood up. Michael’s boner was a lot more apparent when Jeremy was standing.

”I’ll take some of my dad’s. Or one, yeah. That’s how it works. He told me I could, but of course he expected me to have Christine over while he was out of town,” Jeremy said humorously, and Michael watched Jeremy as he left the room. He didn’t want to have sex on the floor, so Michael moved to sit on the edge of Jeremy’s twin sized mattress.

When Jeremy came back, he has a small bottle in one hand and a plastic square in the other. After setting both on his nightstand, he turned on his _very cool_ lava lamp to set the mood. 

“Fucking dork,” Michael commented, shaking his head. Jeremy chuckled and pushed Michael over, kissing him again. 

“You’re gonna be fucking this dork in a few if you know what I mean,” Jeremy basically spilled, not knowing what dirty talk was but knowing that he was definitely nailing it. 

Michael shook his head and readjusting so that Jeremy was underneath him. 

“True. So, are you ready?” Michael asked nervously, but seriously beaming.

Twelve years of being best friends. One long, ended crush on some girl. Years of pining after his best friend and hoping to win his affection.

Michael had gotten his way after all, and he couldn’t imagine a better turnout.

” _Fuck yes._ ”

**Author's Note:**

> wooah shit u thought it was gonna go somewhere?? nah, the fic was already waaay too long haha
> 
> don’t worry though, I’ll definitely be writing smut sooner rather than later my dudes. remember to share my works w your favorite boyf riends shippers!! leave comments, kudos, requests, etc. 
> 
> much love!!
> 
> xofaith


End file.
